My Interview With My Inner Voice

Thanks for agreeing to this.

I had a choice?

It’ll be fun, just say the first thing that comes into your mind.

That’s your job.

Not tonight. The sooner we do this, the sooner we can get to sleep.

That’s a winning argument! Don’t get too heavy, though

We’ll start out with an easy question, fair enough?

Yes. Golly, that was a softball!

Smart ass. Here’s the question….Do you have a favorite rock lyric, one that resonates with you, one that made you say, “That perfectly sums up my life so far.”?

“You got to roll with the punches to get to what’s real”*

That doesn’t make any sense.


Ok, got it. So tell me, what do you think happens when you die?

Aside from decomposition, I have no idea. The answer is completely unknowable, and not worth the bother.

C’mon! That’s a cop-out answer.

No really, I have absolutely no idea what comes next. No one does, and belief isn’t proof. The question that should be asked, you don’t mind if I ask a question, do you?

Go ahead, I’m not making much headway here

Thanks, the real question is, why be good, if this life is all we get?

So what’s the answer?

I’m asking you.

Then I will have to answer with a song lyric as well. “Be good for goodness sake”

Wait! I already gave a favorite lyric!

Yes, but you were talking bullshit, this resonates for real. Heard it my whole life, too.


Could you state that as a question?

Screw you.

Anatomically impossible. no, really, I am a selfish bastard, and I like doing what makes me feel good. It just so happens that helping others, making them laugh or smile, making their day, and getting nothing in return but the pleasure of their reaction, makes me feel better than anything else.

So why don’t you do it more often?

Because I am lazy as well as selfish. I save it for the ones who are most in need of a lift. I thought I was asking the questions…

I’ve lost track. You want to ask a question?


So ask.

If you were alone on Earth, except for one companion(cop out in the interest of familial harmony alert) other than your wife, of course, who would you pick?

Real or imaginary?


Living or dead?

You know I mean either, answer the question!

Touchy, aren’t I? I guess my old yaller dog, Amigo, provided he could live as long as I did.

A dog? Don’t you think you’d go crazy, not having a person to talk to?

I guess I would miss conversation after awhile, and regret choosing Amigo. But after hearing the same stories a thousand times, I would regret Not choosing a dog.


What did you want to hear, Aristotle? Jesus? Groucho?

Mark Twain.

(mulls)Mmm, yeah, you right. I would miss Amigo, but Twain could get real eloquent and funny about how we miss having a dog. Good answer. You know, you can be a pain in the you-know-what, but most of the time it’s kinda nice having you around.

We should get together more often.


* from JUMP! by Van Halen

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