{Look, parodies just don’t pay the light bill, limericks (all of them, put together) and a dollar seventy-eight will get me a cup of coffee, and poet laureate work is hard to come by. My only choice is to use my phenomenal talent to feed my family. How else am I to do that other than using my innate understanding of the human psyche to pen compelling verse-based propaganda that bypasses the conscious mind and enters the purchasing gland unfiltered by religious or societal restraints?} 

Flowers don’t last, and chocolate gets eaten
Diamonds get lost, a book’s good for one reading
Just one more reason, in these desperate hours
To give a gift that will last, to say “I love you’ with flour.
Or seed corn, or salt, dried milk for that matter
The world’s going crazy as a mercury-mad hatter
Give your love canned water, Vitamins C and the B’s
And about 6-month’s worth of dried fruit and MRE’s.

For the Survival-Foods and Industry Trade Group ——–


Freedom’s hand might hold a torch, the better to light the way

Freedom’s hand might hold a gun, if that is the only way

Freedom’s hand might hold a hammer, the better to sound the bell

Freedom’s hand might hold a microphone, in order its story to tell

And if by gas, nightstick, and fire freedom’s voice is  sorely choked

Hand Freedom an icy-cold, voice-refreshing can of Coke™.



Money can’t bring a deceased loved one back

grow an arm or leg, that’s just a natural fact

and Money’s no good for keeping one warm

or for building a wall to protect one from harm


For something to eat money’s quite easily beat

And most materials make for a much softer seat

But those things were bought with money you earned

before you crashed, got poisoned, hit, delayed or burned


 Money’s roots might be evil, but a rose grows in crap, and

So will your money, when a good lawyer starts rapping

Money can be a blessing, sometimes a curse, it’s true

But who better to find out, the defendant , or you?**



Autumn crept up like a thief, and took the life from the leaf

The shriveled nuts they fell with no ceremonial knell.

Facing the reality of the dismal season his true love and he reasoned

that in their bed would be uneasy peace with his soldier remaining ever at ease 

But thanks to the firm called Pfizer® This very night will he surprise her

Spring’s passion will once again rise She won’t believe her happy eyes

They will relive their honeymoon at Niagara , thanks to the miracle drug, Viagra™


O, Expresso! Frothy and strong concoction,

I marvel at your systematic construction

by a trained and earnest young barista

who knows the regulars and welcomes turistas.

The music and caffeine makes my heart dance

I come for the jolt, I stay for the ambience

By window I sip, online the whole while

Others sell coffee, Starbucks™serves up style.


Scientists, nutritionists, and all

overrate the dangers of cholesterol

They’d have you break your fast

on bran, scrambled tofu, some bland repast.

Start your day with protein and flavor, I beg

a trice of fried, over-easy, incredible edible eggs*

*Trademarked slogan of the American Egg Board

** for The American Trial Lawyers Association


One response to this post.

  1. Reblogged this on The Village Wordsmithy and commented:

    No takers yet…


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