Charm School, a country song

I’m havin’ trouble passin’ charm school
I can’t keep from tellin’ a fool he’s a fool
My social graces ain’t great,
I’m more or less late for almost every date
I think my switchblade makes a great dining tool

My honey moved out, leaving only a letter
said she’d come back when my manners got better
What could I say besides Hasta la Veesta
And can you maybe hook me up with your sister?

Said she was tired of doin’ all my fetchin’
of beer after beer that sets me to belchin’
I said ‘C’mon honey, at least I work steady
I’m feelin’ romantic, so go get the bed ready.

I’m rough around the edges that’s for sure
my manners ain’t pretty, my speech isn’t pure
when I drink tea, all my fingers touch the cup
I don’t say “charmed”, I say gurl, wassup?

They say that there’s a girl for every single guy
And you can find your soulmate if you only try
Be sure to tell the gal that fits me like a skin
she’s sure to like me for what she sees within
But my without is a pigsty, I’m as sloppy as sin

I never cover my mouth when I cough or sneeze
My best pair of pants have holes in the knees
I call ’em like I see ’em as a majority rule
Because I never quite finished up in finishin’ school

 

 

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