Corporate Citizens, Please Have Your ID Ready

Now that corporations, thanks to the Supreme Court’s decision re Citizens United, have been granted personhood, many questions come to mind:

1) Can companies that want to merge get hitched by the Vatican? BTW, shouldn’t the Catholic Church be registered as a sex offender?

2) Shouldn’t older, established companies that seek to buy smaller, younger firms be considered pervs? 

3) Will amnesty be granted to the 1000’s of illegal companias that can be expected to migrate northward, seeking economic freedom and a     larger customer base?

4) Are corporations male or female? I would say male, because they hate to admit when they’re wrong. However, try to get a straight answer from one about it’s latest quarterly loss…..

5) Could advertising now be considered Bragging, and thus frowned upon? (could be a bright side to Citizens united, after all)

6) I wonder how many famous corporations have been recruited into Scientology?

7) Do viruses that hack into corporate files now fall under the purview of the Center for Disease Control?

8) Does this make Warren Buffett and the Koch Brothers polygamists?

9) Is it true that Karl Rove was just hired by Wal-Mart to head an “exploratory committee”? And what are Exxon, Ford Motors, and Apple doing in Iowa this week?

10) If General Electric ever went private, would it have to change it’s name?

More later; right now, I have to get ready for my lunch date with this cute little start-up I met at Spinnaker’s.

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