SHORT AND STUBBY TALES, pt 3

YET ANOTHER SHORT, STUBBY TALE

“I’m finding another manager when I get back to the States”, Lou said to himself as yet another gig on this tour of the Outback found him in front of yet another unsophisticated, loutish, and hard-drinking crowd of Australian farmers, station-hands, and railroad workers. Topical American jokes were wasted on them, satire was an alien concept. The only laughs he got, in fact, were his animal impressions which, in spite of their success , Lou hated doing, preferring to perform edgier material.
And he was doing just that, Lou was in the middle of a shtick about Spam being the canned remains of over-populated pounds, when the biggest, roughest, lout in the bar stood up and shouted…”‘nough o’ this balder, mate, let’s see a wallabee!”
“I don’t Wallaby, mate!” Lou answered sarcastically.
The roughneck was drunk enough to miss the tone of voice, but not the gist of the reply.
“Well, then, Kangaroo instead! Red, Grey, Eastern, whatever, just do it or,..”
“I don’t Kangaroo, either, I don’t Platypus, I don’t freaking Dingo!”, Lou was getting irked, but then he saw the guy pull his knife. He softened his tone and pleaded with the angry drunk.
“Look, fella, I’ve never done a kangaroo, I wouldn’t do it justice. Whaddya say I imitate a large wading bird for you good people? That is one my better impressions.” And Lou started to lift one leg and pop his head forward, but suddenly found a knife pressed to his throat.
The Aussie’s menacing grin filled Lou’s vision as he spoke words that chilled the impressionist’s heart.
“You’re going to ‘Roo this day, mate, or it’s a day that you won’t live to egret!.”

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2 responses to this post.

  1. I just love seeing the fancy foorwork involved in your buildups. The effort to make the ridiculous seem normal is a gift.
    And so similar to ‘explaining’ a chance Palindrome its characters ordained by the ghosts of spelling conventions.
    Here’s a free one for your amusement: Try to make it ‘reasonable.

    LOOK, STIR ‘EM RAW GELATIN, KNIT A LEG-WARMER, IT’S KOOL.

    Reply

    • Yoni, don’t you think that the word used to designate a palindrome should actually BE a palindrome? While I work on this challenging task of yours, you can be wordsmithing.

      Reply

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