JIMMY BUFFETT FESSES UP!

Jimmy Buffett Fesses Up!!

I got rich writing about my bad habits
indulged in my wild Caribbean days
Taking body shots off of well-endowed strippers
And snorting cocaine off a supermodel’s legs

But there was a good reason for my escape into dreams,
by using rum, happy pills, and pot
Because if you choose a life of sobriety
You’ll see that Paradise, this place is not!

What jerk calls a place Paradise,
where capital crime is always on the rise?
where biting insects grow to an incredible size?
It’s not my idea of Paradise

I made it all sound so romantic,
Singing’ ’bout smugglers, pretty ladies, and pirates back then
But they’re crooks and criminals, schemers and con men.
Why do you think I wised up, and moved to Aspen!

Why visit more than one island?
every one is just more of the same
beggars, crazy cabbies, and cheap crap made in Japan,
And a too-hot climate that is unfit for man!

It never was a paradise
Columbus didn’t treat the locals very nice
now they like to steal from visiting gals and guys
Go visit the Greek isles, is my advice

I would rather stay in a local motel,
swim in the pool, avoid the airlines’ fee-Hell
order up a pizza, get a six-pack of beer
Screw the Antilles, I’m happier here!

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