I DREAMED I WAS CHANNEL-SURFING….

“….Yes, we have a real challenge facing us this week on Flip This House! It’s a real fixer-upper in the government district of Washington , D.C. Once respected and admired, now long neglected and vandalized, it has become rat-infested. Earlier attempts to repair The House of Representatives were stymied..’CLICK!’

“….So, ask your doctor if Bull-Shit is right for you! {Caution: The use of Bull-Shit has been linked to a rise in dishonest discourse. Decisions should not be made while using BullShit. Cases of foot-in-mouth syndrome have been observed in conjunction with heavy dosages of BullShit. Tell your medical provider if you suffer from gullibility. Should you experience a lack of perspective after ingesting Bull…” CLICK!’

“…and today on “The World’s Worst Jobs, we are speaking with Oman Waimi, Head of Public Relations for ISIL. In this hard-hitting, no holds barred interview, Minister Whimie elaborates on the goals of the Islamic State, their guiding philosophy, while showing us his collection of commemorative plates, we discuss the merits and possible downsides of having myself and the rest of the crew beheaded…..” ‘CLICK

“…Announce an exciting change in the game’s format. From now on, there will be no longer be a panel of judges on SO WHO WANTS TO BE SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE!!, and rules will be made up as we go along…” ‘CLICK!’
“…no where in the Constitution is co-valent bonding mentioned! If I become President, my first act will be to end this odious practice!” So said presidential candidate Ben Carson…” ‘CLICK!’

“…MSNBC has decided to devote the 40% of its programming not already devoted to prison shows and airing clips from Fox News while our hosts act shocked and aghast, to nutrition supplement ads…..” ‘CLICK!’

“…The suspect was caught after several selfies of the tax fraud were found on Social Media….” ‘CLICK!’

“…The Darrin-change deniers have newly-edited footage that appears to show that it was a combination of a new lighting manager and the switch from Black-and-White to Color that made Darrin look different. As for the actor’s name being different in subsequent seasons of Bewitched, denier spokesman Carl Cantsee, opined, “maybe he was adopted, and decided to use his real name, did you ever think of that?..” ‘CLICK!’

“…Speaking at a press conference, GOP Congressman Trey Gowdy blamed the presence of the asteroid threatening the Earth on Hillary Clinton’s private server, while a Democratic spokesman defended the Administration’s tepid response to the crisis. “We are all wringing our hands, we’re worried, and we agree that something should be done….” ‘CLICK!’

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