Guess what they Recycle for Shark Bait?

(this is an old story, 2007 or so. Like so many people, I lost a pile on the IPO)


Chinese Recycling Old Condoms To Make Hair Bands


BEIJING (AFP) – Used condoms are being recycled into hair bands in southern China, threatening to spread sexually-transmittable diseases they were originally meant to prevent, state media reported Tuesday. In the latest example of potentially harmful Chinese-made products, rubber hair bands have been found in local markets and beauty salons in Dongguan and Guangzhou cities in southern Guangdong province, China Daily newspaper said.

“These cheap and colourful rubber bands and hair ties sell well … threatening the health of local people,” it said.

Despite being recycled, the hair bands could still contain bacteria and viruses, it said.

“People could be infected with AIDS, (genital) warts or other diseases if they hold the rubber bands or strings in their mouths while weaving their hair into plaits or buns,” the paper quoted a local dermatologist who gave only his surname, Dong, as saying.

OK, let’s take this one step at a time.

A) I looked up the melting point of rubber, and that is a whole ‘nother story. The lowest melting point was for some special type of rubber compound, and it was 55° Celsius.  Translated to Farenheit, that is 131°. Probably not good condom material, for reasons which we will not discuss until the children are in bed. Other types of rubber had melting points between 115-200° C.  Certainly, if they are melting the condoms down, that would be enough heat to kill any organisms in these seminal receptacles, unless….

B) …They aren’t melting them down. Ugh! Are they then just snipping the unrolled portion from the used section? If so, is work in China so hard to come by that condom-snipping seemed like a good career move? And don’t try to tell me there is no “unrolled portion” on your spent rubbers,  Casanova.

C) Many Chinese speak our language, but they may be unfamiliar with our colloquialisms. So I will give them a pass on using a spokesman named Dong in relation to this story. There will no comments like, “Wassamatta, wasn’t Hung well?”, from this blogger. No sir.

D) This is one potential Chinese import for which, if it catches on here,  it will not be the lead content that concerns us. 

E) They come 10 to a pack, for 25 fen, which is about 3 cents American. This is good, if some are stuck together when pulled out of the bag, tossing the whole pack away won’t break the bank.

F) How do they go about collecting the darn things? Bedside cannisters? Weekly pick-ups? Is there a deposit? Stop snickering, I mean a cash deposit!

G) This article has given me an idea for a scene in the sequel, should there ever be one, to “There’s Something About Mary”.

One response to this post.

  1. Oy, the click-bait title got me; what *do* they use for shark-bait?
    Ok, unlike my confessed ignorance of the boyz ‘n boyz scene in your quick fiction, I’m actually ashamed to know as little as i do about azhuns, and not from lack of effort. I’m thinking mebbe if I believed that they can actually communicate, as we know it, in languages without any ‘normal’ noun/verb/adjective structure, I’d be more apt to relate to them as humans.
    All that yella-phobia aside, you’ve ID-ed the major questions this story raises. Collection-protocol? Quality-control, randomizing of colours?
    The once-and-only time in my life I ever used one it burst of course. But neither of us cared all that much.


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