The English Department

• I am the Dean of the English department in a small rural college, and the drama is in the main restricted to the confines of the printed pages read by our students.
• So I took secret pleasure as I listened while Professor Weems relayed his plight. His agitated manner, although justified, was amusing me to no end. However, his problem was real, a rich alumnus wanted to have him fired for giving his son a failing grade.
• “Dean Tinsdale,” Weems was saying, “ I don’t care if he’s a legacy, the lad did not follow instructions. I told my students to write a story that placed them at the scene and time of a historical event. Also, they were to write it in real-time.” He paused, took a breath, and continued.
• “ Young Mr. Portsmith instead wrote himself into a current event, the growing tension between our president and the Russian premier. To make it worse, he wrote it in the past tense! “ He wasn’t through, either. “And the moron is arguing that the tense doesn’t matter if the story is about a current event! I know his dad is a benefactor, but we can’t relax our standards, can we?”
• I empathized with Weems, but I liked my job, and ticking off the wealthy alumni wasn’t the way to keep it. I made my decision.
• “Okay, tell Portsmith to rewrite the story as per instructed, and then have him bring it to me, and I’ll see if he got it right.”
• Weems was not too happy, “ You mean …”
• I interrupted him, “ Yes, there will be a present-tense investigation.

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2 responses to this post.

  1. We be headed for a nu-wurld where no one knows a typo from a hypo. The former happens when the fingers fail; the latter is a brain-function issue. I was dismayed enough by silly Quayle’s potatoes, but this Ignoramus-in-chief is unpresidented.
    (I remember accepting that Clinton, a Rhodes scholar could probably spell even better than I could, but that’s kool, that’s why he’s my Prez and I’m digging ditches. But this toilet-seat scribbler belongs, not in the ditch, but in the pile of dirt the bulldozer is carting away. Before he ‘recieves’ -sic- another twit.

    Reply

    • The dumb-ass was twittering about the drone the Chinese took After they gave it back! He had no idea because he doesn’t take to those silly intelligence briefings that don’t tell him anything, except, uhm, the drone was returned yesterday.
      I despise Trump, and I am alternately disgusted and disappointed in my friends and family who praise his every lie, and seem to want to follow him down a Charybdis of increassing monetary degradation, nativistic violence, and jails full of those brave enough to speak out.

      Reply

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