THE TOP 10 THINGS DONALD TRUMP HAS NEVER SAID

THE TOP TEN THINGS DONALD TRUMP HAS NEVER SAID
1)Honey, I got the promotion!.
2)I’m sorry
3)I can help, let me get my jumper cables
4)But if we pay the doctor, we wont have enough for groceries
5)Was it good for you, too?
6)There you go, sir, paid in full!
7)It always rains after I wash the car!
8)Thanks, Ill carry my own bag.
9)I’m cooking tonight, gonna give your mother a break.
10)Correct me if Im wrong

Advertisements

ON SEEING A DOG ABANDONED

ON SEEING A DOG ABANDONED
Please don’t run, little fella, I won’t hurt you
The way someone has
I won’t tie you up outside in the summer and let your water dish go dry
The way someone did
Someone tested your love and devotion to its limits
And you would jump back in the truck he kicked you out of
And you would bite me if I did to him what I’m thinking
I want to see him to cower, the way from me you’re slinking
Screw him it’s time to start on the forgetting
Time to put some food in you, take you to a vet and
I need a new winter coat, my old one is now your bedding
It’s time for you to get back the love that you’ve been giving
Maybe in a week or two you’ll be receptive to some petting
The way someone will

CHANNEL-SWITCHING DURING THE ROYAL WEDDING

ROYAL WEDDING COVERAGE, COMMONER THAN EVER
You can’t get away from it!
“…… the Royals in Windsor could not ask for better weather for the wedding, The Royal Wedding that’s being held today wedding wedding wedding…”{click}
Hi this is Jay Leno, welcome to Jay Leno’s garage. today we’re looking at Royal Wedding cars of yesteryear[click!]
” good news shoppers! If you purchase one wedding triptych with Lady Diana smiling down on her son and his new bride, you get the second one for free…{click!}
“.. yes, it has been reported that the Queen’s Corgi likes Prince William’s new bride. Prince Charles’ Rottweilers, however, like her a bit too much…”{click!}
“…even amid the carnage of the Taliban’s latest suicide attack, it almost seems as if some of these tears are tears of joy,…”{click!}
“… And another historic fact about Prince William’s ascot…”{click!}
My 1st guest, Sir O. Reginald Cumwidmy, is Londons foremost expert on royal sex practices, and his Royal honeymoon coverage is expected….{click}
“…

OVERHEARD AT THE ASTROPHYSICISTS CONVENTION…

A couple was in a department store, where the lady was trying on dresses and getting her astrophysicist husband’s opinion. He had just given a thumbs down on a sexy black dress that she rather liked.
“Do you think that I would look better in a red shift? She asked.
You wouldn’t look as hot,” he replied

WHEN GRANDPA KILLED A RATTLER

WHEN GRANDPA KILLED A RATTLER
“It wasn’t just a snake, it was a rattler.”
Grandpa said with a shake of the shovel,
Over which the long body was draped
It wiggled, but the rattles made no sound
“They’re very aggressive.”
He tossed the aggressor’s body over the back fence,
The tall, wooden protector of neighbors from each other
made with posts, crossbeams, and slats
Milled from the trees, Cypress, I believe,
Cut down when most of the swamp was drained
Just like that, the snake was forgotten,
Now he was the neighbor’s problem

I wished I could have replied
With aha! insights I had yet to attain
I know you killed it for safety’s sake,
For Mom and Tiger and Sis and me
I know, too, that it was just a snake,
Who had a family who followed a scent trail
Blazed by countless ancestors
Who ate the rodents that invaded the silos
When the land grew wheat and corn
Then the crop became houses, the people provided
With papers proving, beyond written doubt,
That it was just a snake, who only knew one way home.

Tiger never got snakebit, bees got me twice
The fence is gone, Dad planted a hedge for me
there are houses all around, I’m the old-timer now
Who just killed a rattler with Grandpa’s shovel
And notified City Pest Control

THE STUDENTS TAKE THE LEAD

Who's teaching the lesson today?
The students are leading the way
With I-pads in their backpacks,
And smart phones with smart apps
They picked today to not run laps,
Nor listen to official bull crap.
The usual calculated pap
Today our kids are talking back
Speaking with loud action
A chorus of marching feet
The time for change is not someday
When four weeks ago was already too late
What gives them the right, you ask?
To interrupt their history class?
But what have we done,
To whom have our votes gone?
To politicians who feel their pain,
And go on to feed at the trough again
As yet another damaged kid takes aim,
More teachers and classmates feel the pain
Things just can't stay the same
They're doing it for their own sake
For an end to the horror and heartache
Sometmes history is learned,
Some history has to be made

CATCH THE MOON

” You have to run fast to catch the Moon!”
My older brother said as he raced me
It was blood-red, beautiful, and setting soon
He laughed when I fell and hurt my knee

” This time, I want you to really, really try!”
” You have to run fast if you want to catch the Moon.”
I ran, and as i reached for my prize in the sky
Across the moon’s face flew the shadow of a loon.

My brother passed away far too soon
You could say he jumped too high
“You have to run fast to catch the moon.”
He said before his very last try.

“Don’t follow that path.” my mother cried.
“Losing both sons will be my ruin.”.
Not try, Mother? I would much rather die!
You have to run fast to catch the Moon.
(c) Greg Cobb 2018